Politeness = Anti-feminist?

Okay, just to let y’all know, this year I am taking a Women and Gender Studies course.  Surprisingly, I actually enjoy it.  I know, I know: feminists are bra-burning, man-hating, lesbians.  Well actually, they’re not (not all of them anyway).  Feminism is and feminists are – in my opinion- often misunderstood and misinterpreted.  For example, when I told my boyfriend that I thought I was a feminist after taking this course, one of the first things he said to me was, “But you can’t be.  You don’t hate men.”  Way to believe the stereotypes, Michael.

Anyway, there are some people that perpetuate the whole “feminists are bad” mentality, or turn simple things that really are not about feminism into big debates full of big words and foul language.  

There are a few people on campus who insist on turning Facebook posts into heated discussions about feminism and how girls aren’t entitled to say thank you after a man holds the door for them and how the man didn’t have to hold the door open anyway, because we are strong, independent women who can open our own door damn it! *takes a deep breath* of course that’s a purely… mostly hypothetical example… yeah.

Honestly, even if I am a feminist, people holding the door open for you is NICE.  It is so nice, especially in this day and age where people are too wired into their iPods and/or phones to pay any attention to other people.  Maybe it just goes to show that chivalry isn’t dead, which is a-okay with me!  And actually, I feel like those girls should say thank you, what were they raised in, a barn?  Most people are raised to say thank you from such an early age, it was practically their first word.

There’s a difference between standing up for equality for everyone, and holding the door open for people and saying thank you when someone else does it.  I hold the door open for people all the time!  Men, women, disabled, ethnic, you name it.  Couldn’t you say I’m treating the people I open the door for equally?  I’m sure the men that open doors for women open them for other people too; I’ve seen a few of them do it actually.

I think it’s silly to imply that holding the door for a women is anti-feminist, it’s called being polite.  Try it sometime?  It actually feels pretty good.

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One thought on “Politeness = Anti-feminist?

  1. I think the view of feminists of being lesbians or angry women is very overrated and stereotypical – SO OLD! It’s like, become educated and don’t be threatened by other opposing opinions from your own! Holding the door open for other people is just polite and respectful – I don’t think it caters just to men holding the door for women; it’s a POLITE and UNIVERSAL gesture that humans should do because it’s nice. Some people just get it twisted – they need reasons to do something, need to see an advantage or benefit when doing so – but that’s not how it should be. I’m glad that you enjoyed your class and that it opened your eyes on some new information and compassion! People that are “anti-feminists” are people that don’t exist to me – they believe that women shouldn’t have the same RIGHTS? Fundamental, human rights as men? All I can think of is the word: idiot. :) Have a great day! Let those thoughts flow!

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