Written December 4th 2022

They came from the sky.

Amid the demons, Ailith could just make out a giant eagle with a rider on its back. Behind them, a Pegasus swooped through the sky, its rider whooping in delight. The First and Last watched as the newcomers descended towards them, weapons raised and muscles tense.

The eagle landed, its rider sliding off its back gracefully. They were an Elven woman with flaming red hair streaked through with silver, a longbow slung over her shoulder. She reminded Ailith so much of Feyra that for a brief moment Feyra’s future was standing in front of her. But where Feyra’s eyes were piercing green, this woman’s eyes were grey and cloudy. She murmured something to the eagle, stepping back from it.

Before their eyes, the eagle transformed, and in its place stood Ceradwynn. She raised her arm to the Pegasus and it stayed in the air, circling them. Ceradwynn took the Elven woman’s arm and led her to where The First and Last stood, mouths agape.

“The First and Last.” Ceradwynn greeted them with a nod, her companion doing the same. “I can’t tell you how proud I am of how far you’ve come. Perhaps this time, Graz’zt will fail.”

The redhead seemed to survey the group, but Ailith had an inkling that she wasn’t actually seeing them.

“Oh, my apologies. First and Last, this is Caoimhe Redmayne.” The redhead raised a hand in greeting. “The one in the sky is Dath. He prefers to keep watch.”

Caoimhe and Dath? Ailith whipped her head around to stare at Xiv, who was already nodding like they had pieced it together themselves. Knowing Xiv, they probably had.

Ceradwynn had told them the story of Caoimhe and Dath. Ailith remembered the sorrow she had felt, knowing that their fate could be shared by her and her companions. But here they were—alive.

“Yes, I neglected to tell you the whole story,” Ceradwynn admitted, a bit sheepish. “But I needed to keep them safe. Graz’zt doesn’t know they survived, and so their involvement is something he won’t have planned for,” she explained.

“We’re happy to have the help,” Ailith assured her. She could feel Caoimhe’s cloudy eyes on her, her stare blank and unblinking. Part of the story, it seemed, had been true.

“And we’re happy to give it. Now,” Ceradwynn nodded, stepping back from the group, “you have somewhere to be. Good luck, First and Last.”

With a twist of her arms Ceradwynn transformed once more into a giant eagle, and she crouched down, waiting for Caoimhe to mount her.

Caoimhe approached Ailith and snapped her fingers. A daisy appeared in her hands, pristine white petals almost shining in the evening light. She reached out, uncannily finding Ailith’s face with her callused fingers.

Caoimhe smoothed back a strand of Ailith’s hair, tucking it and the flower behind her ear. “For luck,” she murmured in a soft, gravelly voice.

Inexplicably, Ailith felt her eyes well with tears. She opened her mouth to reply, but no words came out. Instead, she just nodded, touching the flower reverently.

With a nod of her own, Caoimhe turned and leapt into Ceradwynn’s back. With a mighty screech and a couple powerful flaps of her wings, Ceradwynn took flight, circling the group once before following Dath towards the demons on the ground.

Ailith wiped a tear away and cleared her throat. “Come on,” she said, standing up a little straighter. “We’ve got a job to do.”

Written December 1st 2022

The battle for Halophell was over.

The First and Last stood at the top of Graz’zt’s tower, battered and bruised, but not beaten.

Far below them, the sounds of battle carried on, but they were growing fainter with every passing minute. With the portal closed, the remaining creatures would be easy enough to round up and eliminate. They were only lesser demons, a distraction while Graz’zt toyed with The First and Last.

“Is everyone good?” Ailith watched Ace press one last bit of healing magic to Talus’s shoulder, and the rest of the group nodded in assent. “Okay, great. We should get down there, see what they need from us.”

A collective murmur of agreement followed her words, and Ailith wrapped her arm tighter around Feyra’s waist. The adrenaline was starting to fade, and Ailith was starting to feel the fatigue in her muscles and the ache in her bones. She couldn’t wait for this day to be over; she was in dire need of a bath.

As one, they moved towards the stairs. All but one of them.

Ailith watched out of the corner of her eye as Xiv walked instead to the edge of the tower, their tall frame dark against the setting sun.

Ailith stopped, nodding her head in Xiv’s direction when Feyra looked at her quizzically. A sense of dread churned in Ailith’s stomach. Something wasn’t right.

“Xiv?” She asked warily, “You okay?”

They all watched as Xiv nodded, pulling something out of their pocket and fiddling with it. Xiv turned back to them, a tiny capsule grasped between their fingers.

No one said a word as Xiv slowly undid their utility belt, dropping it to the floor in front of them. Their Bag of Holding, weapons, and magical items joined the growing heap on the floor as Xiv unloaded everything on their person.

Understanding hit Ailith like a bolt of lightning. She knew what this was. “Xiv…” She pleaded. It wasn’t time yet. They couldn’t just leave, not right after Graz’zt’s defeat, not before celebrating. Not before she had a chance to say goodbye.

Xiv looked up from their task, dropping their Helm of Teleportation with a sense of finality. Ailith met their eyes and shook her head. Not yet. Xiv just looked back at the sunset and nodded again, before turning back to the rest of The First and Last.

“I was Xiv,” they rasped, and bit into the capsule in their hand. Ailith heard gasps from the group as Xiv’s form began disintegrating, pieces of them being carried away by the wind.

“Are they…?” Talus’s question hung in the air.

“They’re gone, buddy,” Ailith whispered, half in awe. “The crazy bastard actually did it.”

High above them, the moon peeked out from behind a cloud as the sun finished setting. Xiv was gone, and sadness mingled with pride in Ailith’s chest. They did it.

I don’t know you.

Ailith watched helplessly as Talus turned against his friends under the influence of Graz’zt, his eyes unfocused but his aim true. Xiv weathered the blows as best they could, but even from a distance Ailith could see them struggling.

I don’t know you.

Above the battlefield, Ace was flitting back and forth, casting healing spells as best she could. Her little voice was going hoarse as she yelled incantations and shouted prayers in an attempt to keep her party breathing, if not standing.

I don’t know you.

Ailith’s head swam for a second as the connection between her and Feyra was severed once more. The bond put in place during their wedding made them stronger, yes, but only if they stayed together. Trouble was, Ailith needed to be in the action while Feyra was better from a distance. It couldn’t be helped, but the emptiness in Ailith’s chest was disconcerting nonetheless. At the very least, she was trying to keep Feyra in her peripheral vision, but Rina was demanding her full attention. Ailith knew that Feyra was somewhere over her shoulder, firing arrows into Graz’zt — she could hear his angry bellowing echoing out around them — and that would have to do for now.

I don’t know you.

Graz’zt was trying keep Ailith at his side, but she wasn’t having it. He could compel her to walk to him all he wanted, at first opportunity she was running right back to Rina. Ailith’s ring had blasted a counterspell at Rina when she’d tried to disintegrate Xiv, but that was a one off, a desperate shot in the dark. Ailith needed to get Rina off the field if they had a hope in all the hells of beating her, Graz’zt, and Prescott. Ailith ran up the wall, her muscles shaking with exertion, ducking as Rina raised her finger and started speaking in her garbled, dead language once more. Ailith followed the direction of Rina’s hand and watched in horror as Feyra collapsed behind one of the walls, out of view.

I don’t know you.

Ailith screamed in rage as she turned back to Rina and drove her cane into the twisted grin growing on the lich’s face. Rina didn’t even flinch as her jaw cracked and broke, but her eyes started to glow a faint purple. Ailith shoved her back as she started cackling, the sound only growing louder as Ailith pushed her over the edge of the tower. Rina didn’t even give Ailith the satisfaction of watching her fall. Her cackling faded away as she twisted in the air and her form turned into purple smoke that rushed through the windless sky towards the rift.

You will.

Ailith wasted no time in turning and leaping off the wall, running full tilt to where Feyra fell. She was fast, but Graz’zt was faster. He climbed to where Feyra lay and hoisted her limp body in his arms. No no no. Ailith felt the breath leave her lungs as Graz’zt raised Feyra above his head, towards the rift. Streaks of purple lightning lit the sky between the rift and Feyra, bathing the redhead in a purple haze. Ailith ran, her chest heaving with exertion. Graz’zt lowered Feyra with a dark laugh, just in time for Ace to send a blast of healing energy towards her. Ailith watched as Feyra’s eyes flew open and she shimmered in place for a moment before disappearing in a haze of mist.

You will.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Ailith hauled herself up to where Graz’zt stood, his face twisted in confusion as he looked at his now empty hands. Ailith saw Feyra reappear several feet away out of the corner of her eye. Knowing Feyra was safe for now, Ailith turned to Graz’zt and unleashed everything she had in her arsenal at him. She saw his confusion turn to anger to turn fear when he realized Rina was gone and Talus, under his own control once more, had just dispatched Prescott.

You will.

Ailith wrapped her thorns around Graz’zt’s neck and yanked, watching with grim delight as his eyes bulged and his hands scrabbled at the thorns. His eyes glowed purple, but unlike Rina, he didn’t disappear. Instead, he exploded into a cloud of purple smoke, only to reappear even larger in the same spot. Ailith had to crane her neck up to meet his eyes, her teeth bared in anger. Fucking demons and their fucking tricks. Graz’zt chuckled, his sight honed in on Talus once more. “Take care of them,” he called, his voice reverberating through Ailith’s chest. Talus turned to Xiv, his eyes blank and his sword raised. Godsdamnit, Talus. Ailith didn’t have time to worry about Xiv; she knew Ace was hovering nearby, ready to heal them.

You will.

With Feyra at her back, loosing arrows at an almost inhuman speed, Ailith leapt into action. Her cane was a blur, pulsing with energy as she pummeled every bit of Graz’zt she could reach. She felt her knuckles bruising, her arms burning with exertion, but there was no time for weakness. This was their last chance. Ailith leapt off the wall towards Graz’zt as he cackled, his mouth open to reveal sharp, cracked teeth. Ailith flung her thorns out, grimacing with satisfaction as the wrapped around Graz’zt’s open jaw. Using her body weight, she yanked, pulling the demon down to his knees.

You will.

Ailith tightened the thorns, letting out a bark of laughter as Graz’zt bellowed and clawed at them. His body was bruised and bloody, bits of rib exposed where his chest heaved in panic. Ailith had seen the look in his eyes before. They were the eyes of someone who knew they were beaten.

“Look around you,” Ailith yelled, arms thrown wide. Feyra stood behind her, an arrow nocked and ready. Ace was hovering a level below them, tending to Xiv’s wounds as Talus apologized. “You’re alone. You lost.” Graz’zt snarled, fingers grasping weakly at the vines digging into his tongue and cheeks.

Ailith moved closer, black ichor splashing onto the ground from Graz’zt’s ruined mouth. She put one hand on Graz’zt’s upper jaw, holding his mouth open. “You want to know who I am?” She whispered, the words for him and him alone. “I’m the person who beat you.” Anger flared in the demons eyes as Ailith grinned and yanked down on the vines, ripping Graz’zt’s lower jaw off his face. An animal howl erupted from him, abruptly cut off by Ailith’s fists caving his chest in. Graz’zt dropped, his black lifeforce pooling over the flagstones. His body dissolved before Ailith’s eyes, melting away until there was nothing of the demon left. Ailith swayed on her feet as the adrenaline of the moment faded.

“Ailith!” She turned in time to see a red and green blur barreling into her, arms coming up to wrap themselves around Feyra.

“We did it. He’s gone, it’s okay.” The words were frantic, pressed into the skin of Feyra’s neck. Ailith could feel Feyra’s pulse fluttering against her lips, the sensation bringing tears to her eyes. “We won.”

Written May 23rd 2022 10:59 PM

This was it. They had healed up, rested for as long as they could, and pumped spell after spell into each other. There was no more to be done, no ways left to delay the inevitable. Every fight, every mission since the moment they met a year and a half ago in Caltown of all places had lead to this. Grazz’t was waiting for them at the top of the tower, and win or lose, this is was their destiny.

None of them said much as they packed away their potions and spell components. There wasn’t much to be said, anyway — they all knew the stakes. They all knew there was a chance not all of them would be coming back from this fight. Ailith tried to keep those thoughts at bay; there was no point in dwelling on things that might not come to pass. All she could do was make sure her hits landed and keep an eye on Feyra; she’d be damned if she let another wannabe god get their hands on her.

As one, The First and Last took a deep breath and headed towards the stairs that would lead them right to Grazz’t and whatever came next. As Ailith moved to follow her friends, a familiar grip on her wrist stopped her. She turned to Feyra, unsurprised by the frown on the redhead’s face. Ailith wanted to kiss the creases from Feyra’s forehead and reassure her that everything was going to be okay, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t lie, not to Feyra.

She didn’t get the chance to anything before Feyra had Ailith’s face cupped in her hands. Feyra didn’t say anything, just stroked her thumbs across Ailith’s cheekbones as her eyes flitted over Ailith’s face. Ailith knew what Feyra was doing, she had done it countless times herself; Feyra was committing Ailith to memory. Every freckle, scar, wrinkle, just in case this was the last time she saw it this close. This alive. Ailith felt tears well up and saw Feyra’s eyes fill as well as she pulled Ailith into a kiss.

It was a bruising kiss, one that said “I love you, I’m scared, please don’t leave me.” It lasted a few seconds, but Ailith would have happily lived in the eternity of it. They pulled apart, resting their foreheads together. “I love you,” Feyra breathed into the space between them.

“In this life and beyond,” Ailith murmured, closing her eyes against fresh tears that threatened to spill over. The sound of fading footsteps on the stairs broke them out of their moment, and they spared one last lingering look at each other before heading after their friends to the end.

Written May 24th 2022 3:02 PM

If she was asked, Ailith would say she doesn’t get nervous. That would, of course, be a lie, but she’d lied about worse before. So, if anyone asked how she felt to be moments away from marrying the love of her life, she would say she was fine.

“It’s okay to be nervous, you know.” Xiv shuffled up behind her, their rasp pulling her from her daydream.

“What? I’m not nervous,” Ailith scoffed, forcing her hands to stop pulling on the sleeves of her suit and stay at her sides.

“Okay.” Xiv didn’t have any facial expressions, but the tone of placating sarcasm was clear enough.

“Shut up.”

Just out of sight, Ailith could hear soft murmuring from the crowd gathered in the small clearing. Part of her felt foolish for having a wedding this close to an impending invasion, but the fact that all these people had shown up regardless made her feel like maybe this was a welcome distraction for everybody. Someone started playing music, the lilting sounds wafting back to where Xiv had moved to Ailith’s side.

“Ready?”

Ailith took a deep breath. “As I’ll ever be.”

It had been Ace’s idea to have them walk down the aisle separately. Really, it was Ace’s idea to have a wedding at all. If it had been up to Feyra and Ailith, they would have said a few words privately and celebrated just the two of them. They didn’t need any grand fanfare. But Ace had been so excited they couldn’t say no.

Xiv kept a steady hand on Ailith’s arm as they stepped into the clearing. Everyone’s heads turned to them and it struck Ailith as incredibly dangerous to have so many powerful allies gathered in one place. If Graz’zt tries to attack at this wedding, she thought, I’ll kill him myself.

Ailith could see Amos and Ashrin near the front, personally teleported in by Xiv. Mani and Xernax stood together, as did Thatcher and Esme. Tozry lingered near the outskirts, looking as on edge as Ailith felt. Ace stood at the far end of the clearing, a huge grin on her face as she waited for Ailith to reach her. The small girl was dressed in her finest black attire, her shadowy wings out in force for the occasion. Ailith felt everyone’s eyes on her as she made her way to Ace, but for once she didn’t preen for her audience. She kept her gait steady and focused on Xiv’s hand on her arm until she made it to where Ace stood below the tree Ailith had carved her and Feyra’s initials the night of Feyra’s birthday. That night felt like years ago now.

She turned to Xiv before they left and pulled them close. “Thank you,” she whispered. Xiv just nodded once before shuffling off to stand near Amos and Ashrin. Ailith didn’t have to wait long for Feyra to step out into the clearing. She was wearing her green ballgown and it took Ailith’s breath away just like it had all those months ago. Talus walked with her, his large hand resting on her arm, guiding her steps. Feyra’s eyes never left Ailith’s as she walked down the makeshift aisle, and Ailith knew she must be hating having everyone looking at her. Ailith gave her a reassuring smile, delighting in the small smile Feyra gave her in return.

Finally, Feyra was standing in front of her. Feyra gave Talus a pat on the hand and he left them to stand with Xiv. Ailith let out a shaky breath. “Hi,” she whispered, unable to keep the grin off her face.

“Hi,” Feyra replied in kind, the small smile morphing into the one she saved for Ailith and Ailith alone. Ailith clasped Feyra’s hands in hers, unable to go one more moment without touching her.

Next to them, Ace cleared her throat. “Good morning! Thank you all for coming to this special occasion. Today, we celebrate Feyra and Ailith, and the love they have for each other.” Ace’s bright voice rang through the clearing, and Ailith suspected perhaps her god had a hand to play in how it carried and echoed around the group assembled there. “If anyone is proof of love overcoming all obstacles, it’s them. Not even an archdevil could keep them apart. We have all seen firsthand the admiration and respect they have for each other, and I know their love runs deeper than the nine hells.” Ailith brushed her thumbs over Feyra’s fingers, feeling the ring she had Xiv make with every pass. She never took her eyes off Feyra’s, watching as Ace’s voice made them glisten with tears. Ace leaned in and whispered, “Now it’s time for you guys to say your vows.”

Feyra nodded, clearing her throat. She never let go of Ailith’s hands as she began to speak, her voice soft but strong. “Ailith. I hope I don’t need to tell you how much I love you, because you should already know, but just in case. We have spent so much our lives together surrounded by the insane and supernatural, but the privilege of being chosen by you has been the most incredible magic that has ever happened to me.” She paused then, as if to let the words settle over Ailith and find their home there. “Having you in my life is the greatest honour, and I promise to spend the rest of my life trying to be worthy of it. Ailith, I love you more that I would have believed possible. You are my north star, my guiding light. I will follow you and love you for the rest of my life and beyond. I promise to love you so fully and devoutly that the gods themselves will be jealous. My heart and soul are yours. They always have been, and now they always will be.” Tears left shimmering tracks on Feyra’s cheeks as she finished. Ailith felt her own eyes well up and knew she was a goner.

Ace looked at Ailith expectantly as Ailith struggled to control her breathing. It wouldn’t do to break down in front of all these people. Sniffing, she shook her head to clear it. “Feyra. Love. You and I both know that we don’t need grand declarations to legitimize what we have, but since we’re here, allow me to take this opportunity.” Feyra let out a wet laugh, and the sound made Ailith’s heart sing. “Before I met you, I was lost. The future was something that was never guaranteed, so I didn’t bother dwelling on it. I thought that was how my life would be, but since meeting you, I actually have a future worth having. You have shown me what it means to love, and be loved in return. You have given me your heart, and that is a charge I do not take lightly; I will fight every day to be worthy of it. Of you. I love you, and I will love you until the end of me. In this life and beyond.” She felt the tears finally overflow, but she didn’t care. All she cared about was the look on Feyra’s face as she heard the words Ailith spoke from her heart. So beautiful.

After a moment of silence, in which Ailith could hear Talus blowing his nose, Ace spoke up once more. “In the eyes of the Every Shadow, I make this prayer. May your love for each other make you stronger together than apart. May your lives be entwined from now to eternity.” Ace sprinkled a pinch of silver dust over their clasped hands, and as she closed her eyes the dust settled and shone on their rings. Ailith gasped as she a felt a tug in her chest, and she saw the moment Feyra felt the same.

Ailith could feel Feyra under her skin and in her heart, like a piece of a puzzle she didn’t know she was missing. She felt like sunlight, like the breeze fluttering through the trees, like falling from a height, and Ailith’s mind was going fuzzy from the sensation.

“With the power given to me by the Every Shadow,” Ace paused to look up to the sky and wave, “I pronounce you married in the eyes of the gods and the empire of Exantir. You may now—” Ailith didn’t wait for Ace to finish. She laced her fingers in Feyra’s hair and pulled her into a searing kiss. Cheers and whoops erupted from the crowd, and Ace was giggling madly, but Ailith barely heard them; she was too busy chasing the feeling of Feyra through the bond Ace had created between them.

When they finally broke apart, Feyra’s cheeks were pink, her lips red and, and her green eyes bright. Ailith delighted in the knowledge that, gods willing, she would get to see that view for the rest of her days.

Written April 20th 12:03 PM

A wave of Ace’s healing magic washed over Ailith and she opened her eyes, gasping as she regained consciousness. She was still wrapped in the marilith’s tail and she could hear her ribs starting to creak under the pressure. She thrashed wildly, technique thrown out the window in her desperation. She had to get to Elijah, or whatever form he was taking this time.

Ailith threw an elbow back, feeling the crunch of bone on bone as the marilith shrieked and loosened its grasp minutely. It was enough for her to wriggle free, landing heavily on her hands and knees. She gave herself enough time to take an actual breath before she rose to her feet, cane gripped tightly in her hand.

Elijah stood apart from the main fray, watching and waiting. Shaking out her fists, Ailith stalked towards him, feeling the thrilling tingle of her tattoos coming to life. The thorns inked into her skin shifted, impatiently waiting to be unleashed. Elijah snorted and began pawing at the ground with his foot – hoof? Ailith had seen this move before — albeit from a much less demonic looking minotaur — and knew he was about to charge.

Rolling her shoulders, Ailith let out a yell as she wound up and brought her cane swinging around her. Inky tendrils whipped out towards Elijah, wrapping around his neck. He let out a roar as the thorns dug in and he swatted madly, grabbing at his neck. Ailith held fast to her cane, letting Elijah’s thrashing pull her closer. In this form, Elijah was huge; he towered over her, snorting wildly in frustration. Ailith yanked on her cane, forcing Elijah to bow down until his giant head was level with her. She reached up with one hand to grab onto one of his horns, holding him in place as he continued to thrash against her thorns.

Ailith leaned in close, ignoring the putrid smell of Elijah’s breath to get right into his face, staring deep into his inhuman eyes. “I want you to remember,” Ailith whispered, the words for him and him alone, “wherever you end up, that you can’t fucking beat me.” Ailith relished the fear and anger that filled Elijah’s eyes as she released her cane and brought her other hand up to grab at his jaw. Letting out a shout that carried with it all the pain, fear, and anger Elijah had put her through, she adjusted her grip on his head and twisted viciously. In an echo of that day in Rayne all those months ago, Elijah’s neck broke with a snap and his minotaur form fell back, lifeless.

It’s done. She didn’t know how, but she knew that Elijah wouldn’t be coming back again. She could stop looking over her shoulder, could stop waiting for Elijah to pop out of an alley wearing a different body. Thank the gods. Ailith swayed on her feet as the burst of adrenaline faded from her body, leaving her limbs tingling and her nerves sparking. Her vision grew spotty as she pressed a hand to her aching ribs, vaguely aware of the blood dripping down her arm as she did so; those mariliths must have done a number on her while she was unconscious.

“Ailith!” Pine trees and fresh air wafted over her as her knees began to buckle. Before she could hit the ground, strong hands were holding onto her, never letting her fall.

In the beginning, Ailith found herself daydreaming while Ace conversed with the Every Shadow. It wasn’t like she didn’t respect Ace’s faith, she just didn’t understand it. She couldn’t comprehend putting your faith in something intangible, some being that came to you in visions of smoke.

Things she could see and feel — Ailith had no problem believing in those (unless it was ghosts, in which case, absolutely fuck that). She had just never been one for religion. No god had ever shown themselves to her, let alone taken her under their wing and protected her. Lolth had made a deal with her, but that was far from benevolent. If anything, Ailith respected Lolth all the more for her transparency and utter lack of bullshit. Ailith was fine ignoring the gods, simply viewing it as returning the favour for their utter lack of attention.

As time went on and Ace’s connection to the Every Shadow grew, and it became increasingly obvious that the other members of her party were all chosen by some god or other (except Xiv, of course, but they would soon be a god in their own right, Ailith was sure of it) Ailith began to feel the familiar twinge of jealousy in her gut. The feeling of not having what everyone else did that used to plague her as a child. She hated that it rattled her, but she couldn’t help but wonder why she wasn’t deemed special enough to have a god choose her.

She avoided talking it about it, of course. She knew Feyra and Talus didn’t exactly have the best relationships with their gods, and she could do without Ace preaching at her about the virtues of the Every Shadow. Instead, Ailith focused on what she knew was real: her friendships, her training, her budding relationship with Feyra. The feeling of butterflies quickly began replacing the pit of jealousy inside her, and Ailith soon stopped dwelling on the machinations of the gods.

It came up once when Feyra, in a rare outburst, yelled at Ailith about how special she was. The heat behind Feyra’s words took Ailith by surprise — not to mention sparked a match desire inside her, but that was something to be examined a different day. Ailith hadn’t given thought to feeling inferior to her adventuring party in ages. She didn’t need to; she knew who she was, and what she was capable of. She didn’t need a god or magic to tell her she was something rare and powerful.

Ailith knew what had changed. It wasn’t hard to figure out that she didn’t need a god to choose her when she had Feyra, who had always seen Ailith and recognized the power in her. Who had always made Ailith feel chosen, who was a constant safe harbour. What — who — else could Ailith possibly need?

In Feyra’s arms she had shelter. In Feyra’s heart she had acceptance. In Feyra’s eyes she was known. Said on Feyra’s breath her name was a prayer. With Feyra’s fingertips, lips, and tongue she was anointed with holy water.

Ailith could worship at the altar of her love every morning and every night, and it would never be enough. The others could keep their gods. Ailith was happy to kneel and recite the sermon of her and Feyra until the earth crumbled beneath her.

Written April 3rd 2022 10:10 PM

Ailith wasn’t religious. She wasn’t pious, holy, saintly, or devout. She didn’t believe there was a higher power out there somewhere looking over her. Sure, the gods existed – more than one of her party had conversed with several of them. But that didn’t mean they were kind, or benevolent, or even aware of their followers, let alone Ailith, at all. And it certainly didn’t mean that Ailith felt any kind of compulsion to dedicate any of her time and effort to thinking about them, except to occasionally curse their very existence. So far, they hadn’t seemed to care. She took this as yet further proof to her point.

Ailith was a follower of no one and nothing. And yet, kneeling at the end up of the bed, looking up to where Feyra lay with her head thrown back and her eyes closed tight, her fingers digging into their sheets until her knuckles were white… Ailith finally understood what it meant to worship something.

Written March 23rd 2022 10:12 PM

Amos. Ashrin. Sully. Graeme. Happy. Ozaz. Sister Helen. Fest and his wife. Barley and her crew. The list of names weighed heavily on Ailith’s mind, and every time she thought she couldn’t possibly have any more names to add, she thought of more. It was a list of people she wanted to evacuate from the continent, to keep safe from the upcoming invasion, but she knew she couldn’t. She couldn’t in good conscious send her own friends and loved ones to safety when other people’s were out fighting for The First and Last. Ailith couldn’t send everyone to safety… but she could send the kids.

“I don’t understand,” Barley repeated yet again. Ailith hadn’t given her and the others much notice before leading them down to the harbour.

“You guys are going to go on a little field trip, okay? To further your education,” Ailith explained, her fingers gripping Barley and Beau’s shoulders. Behind her, Feyra held Alexander and Millie’s hands as she followed, her head swiveling back and forth as she took in their surroundings. The invasion wasn’t supposed to start for weeks, but neither of them trusted Grazz’t to not spring an ambush on them.

“But, we don’t need an education,” Barley whined, twisting around to look at Ailith. The kids had grown in the time Ailith had known them, but they still seemed to small to her. Sighing, Ailith crouched so she was on their level and waited for Alexander and Millie to catch up.

“Look,” she said, pointing out into the harbour. At the far dock a ship was just tying off, a small crew darting around the deck, securing the rigging. “See that ship? You’re going to take a trip on it. And you’re going to learn so much.” Barley huffed and stomped her foot, and Ailith fought to hold back a smile. “I don’t mean school stuff. I mean life stuff. You’re going to learn how to sail, and fight, and when you’re done, you can come back here. But you have to learn everything you can first, okay?”

Barley considered the offer. “Will you be here when we get back?” The question threw Ailith. She could feel tears start to prick at her eyes, and she heard Feyra clear her throat behind her. She looked around at the four of them, their eyes wide but determined.

“Yeah. Of course I will be,” she replied, her voice hoarse. Gods, whoever is listening, don’t make me lie to them.

“Fine. Then we’ll go,” Barley declared with a nod, turning and starting back towards the docks, her posse following close behind. Ailith remained crouched for a beat, willing herself not to cry.

“Hey,” Feyra whispered, squeezing her shoulder. “Come on.” Ailith shook her head and rose, catching up with the kids in a few strides. They made their way to the farthest dock, weaving between sailors offloading cargo and passengers trying to buy their way to the Asher Isles. Rumours had started about what was to come, and those smart enough to heed them were leaving the mainland in droves.

“Ahoy there!” Ailith’s skin prickled at the sound of Jack Rathbone’s voice. He waved at them from the deck of the Disaster’s Mistress, Alice standing behind him. Ailith just crossed her arms by way of a greeting. Seemingly unbothered, Jack made his way down the gangway to the dock, Alice following close behind as usual. “So, these are to be my new crewmembers, is that right?” Jack asked with a grin.

“I see you still work for this bitch,” Ailith said to Alice, pointedly ignoring Jack’s entire existence.

Alice’s demeanour didn’t change. “I don’t work for him,” she grunted, turning on her heel and heading back up to the ship. Interesting.

Ailith held Barley back as the other three followed Alice up the gangway. She crouched down to the girl’s level once more, gripping her upper arms a little too tightly. “Listen up, okay? This man is going to protect you. If he doesn’t,” she said with a pointed glare at Jack, “he’ll be sorry.” Jack cleared his throat awkwardly at that. “He’s going to teach you everything you need to know about sailing, and when you come back, you can teach me, alright?”

“Okay,” Barley muttered, scuffing her boot in the dirt. “We’re going to be so good at sailing, just you wait and see!” There’s my girl. Ailith laughed at the girl’s determination.

“I know you are. Now, it’s time to go.” Ailith stood and turned to Jack. “Look after them. If any of them get hurt, no god above or below can help you.”

Jack blanched at the threat. “Understood,” he rasped, ushering Barley up to the ship. Ailith watched as they stepped onto the ship and the crew hurried to bring up the gangway and unmoor the ship from the dock. Barley stood to the side, watching the commotion with her sharp eyes. Ailith could feel Feyra at her back, but the other woman was giving her space. She loved her for that.

“Barley!” She called as the ship began to pull away. The girl turned to her, peering over the ship’s railing. “Be good!”

There was a beat of silence before Barley answered, a grin on her face. “Nah!” With that, she stepped away from the railing and out of Ailith’s eyeline.

Ailith laughed quietly, barely noticing when the laughter gave way to tears. Feyra stepped up to her then and pulled her into a hug. Ailith cried, not caring that the people bustling past could see her. She cried for her kids, for the shitty hand they’d been dealt and all they’d had to endure in their short lives. She cried for everyone she wanted to save but couldn’t, and the possibility that they would die fighting an impossible fight. Feyra held her until her sobs lessened and her tears dried.

“It’s time to go home,” she whispered into Ailith’s neck.

Ailith sniffed and pulled away, straightening her back. Feyra reached up to wipe her damp cheeks and Ailith leaned into the touch. “Home,” she sighed, grasping Feyra’s hand in hers as they made their way back through the docks, the Disaster’s Mistress sailing into the distance behind them.